Open Me
by longlivetiva
Summary: He pulled it out, and to his surprise, his suspicions were correct. A confused look crossed his face; he didn't put that in there, had Ziva perhaps left it in there along with the necklace?
1. Open Me as Soon as You Find This

Tony pulled up to his apartment complex, both emotionally and physically exhausted after his trip. He sauntered up the buildings stairs before finally reaching his apartment and unlocking the front door. He tossed his keys into the bowl by the door, and his duffle bag from his shoulder then found himself leaning against the door and slipping down, placing his head in his hands and coming to rest between his knees. His head ached almost as much as his heart did. Only a few hours ago was he trying to get the love of his life to come home with him, it was his last chance to get her to change her mind, and he had failed. He felt like he had failed not only himself, but also her. Without realizing, Tony found himself wandering straight to the kitchen in search for any alcohol he may have. Leaning into the refrigerator, he decided the half empty bottle of whiskey from his countertop seemed more appropriate, so he grabbed his whiskey, a glass, and slumped onto the couch. He reached into his jacket pocket for Ziva's Star of David necklace, which he had discovered on the plane that she had somehow placed it there without him knowing. The necklace was a sign to tell him "don't lose hope" and "it's not goodbye, it's see you later". But instead of initially feeling the chain of the necklace, he felt something that seemed to be shaped like a USB stick. He pulled it out, and to his surprise, his suspicions were correct. A confused look crossed his face; he didn't put that in there, had Ziva perhaps left it in there along with the necklace?

He got up and strolled to his dining room table, where he always left his laptop, and turned it on, the illumination from the screen was the only source of light in the room. Tony wasted no time and put the USB in the laptop. Once in, the contents popped up; there was an arrangement of folders, each with names such as "open me in 1 month", "open me in 2 months", and some labeled with holidays such as "Thanksgiving" and "Christmas". Tony was tempted to open them all now, but he knew Ziva would have to have done this for a reason. He discerned that the first folder said "open me as soon as you find this", so that's exactly what he did.

He found that the first folder contained a video; it was named "I'm sorry Tony". Tony was hesitant, but he finally plucked up the courage to click play. The video started with Ziva walking in front of the camera and sitting on a couch, she appeared to be composing her thoughts.

"Tony," she said as her voice cracked, "I-I am sorry, but I have to do this alone."

Tony had to pause the video, he could hear the pain in her voice, and see the pain in her eyes. This wasn't easy for her, just as it wasn't easy for him. Once he took another swig of his whiskey, he clicked play again.

"I know that you are probably hurting, but I am hurting too. I have had a… different life, that's for sure. And I just, I need to forget the past. I need to start over."

Tony had tears forming in his eyes, Ziva had always carried the weight of the world on her tiny shoulders, and it was now all coming down on her, and he wanted nothing more than to help her through it.

"If you are currently watching this, it means that you respected my wishes to do this alone, and for that I am grateful, so thank you, Tony."

Hearing her say his name with such pain in her voice was tearing him apart.

"I do not know how long this will take me, but I hope it does not take too long. I cannot bear to be away from you."

At this point, Tony had finished his glass of whiskey and tears were streaming down his already damp face. This was going to be hardest thing he has ever done. The last time he spent the entire summer searching for her, he brought her back. But not this time, this time Tony didn't bring her back.

"Tony, I am so sorry. Please, never forget that this was not something I had intended to do. I miss you, so_ so_ much. Count to a million, I'll be home soon."

And with that, the video was over. Tony wanted to check all of the other folders, he wanted to hear her voice, but he had to respect her. He was about to close his laptop and drink himself to sleep when he noticed a file named "incase of emergency", He clicked it to find that she had left a phone number, and an address. It was taking all of his willpower to not call the disclosed number, but he knew that if he called, he would panic her, she did say "incase of emergency" after all.

Tony let out a sigh and ran his hands down his face and leant back in his chair,

"Come home soon Ziva, I miss you."


	2. Open Me in Two Weeks

**A/N: Hey all! I received a few questions in reviews asking for me to write more with what's in each folder, and I realized that I probably should've made this clearer! This is in fact going to be multi-chapter, and each chapter will be for each different folder! I'm sorry that I didn't make that clear, and I'm sorry for the delay in this update (and in the update for my other fic, Chances, which I shall hopefully update this weekend also!) I've been coming home from college, eating dinner, completing homework, and then going to sleep! I'm exhausted! Although, I'm sure none of you care and are more interested in the fact that I'm finally updating! I actually got the inspiration for this chapter whilst in Starbucks today, I was people watching and noticed a guy who looked like the spitting image of Tony/Michael… Okay, I'm going to stop rambling before this note becomes too long, but enjoy! And please let me know what you all think! **

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The past two weeks of Tony's life had been a complete alcoholic haze. Each day his caseload would pile up a little more as a result of going home each night and drinking himself to the point where he could scarcely walk to bed to muster the little sleep he could actually get, although, the drinking didn't really help at all. He would lie in bed every night, gazing aimlessly at the ceiling and stretch his arms out searching for the warmth and soft touch of Ziva, but instead he would find the other side cold and empty. After Zivas father had died, she would spend the night as his house occasionally, confiding in Tony as a support system. Nothing would happen, but sleeping in the same bed bought her a sense of comfort, which she couldn't find on her own.

Last night had been one of the hardest nights; it had been exactly two weeks since Ziva had decided to stay in Israel, and her not being there was starting to take its toll on him. He began hallucinating more, and imagining her being there with him, but he would quickly realize that she's not actually there, get angry and drink even more. He drank much more last night than he had in a long time, he even found himself mixing his drinks and throwing the empty bottles across the room at the wall, and a pile of shattered glass was starting to form. Once Tony had finally fallen asleep, he had a dream; a dream so vivid, he actually started questioning himself and his mentality.

_"There's still time to change your mind" Tony pleaded; all he wanted to do was bring her home._

_"Tony, after spending these past week or so with you, I think… I think I want your help. I think I want to come back to DC… back… home. Home to you, home to Gibbs, home to McGee, Abby, Palmer, and Ducky. I need my family." Ziva replied with a sense of finality laced in her voice._

_"Are you serious? You're really going to come home?" He was shocked; he had to make sure it was real, that she was really coming home._

_"Yes. Yes, I am. I just… I couldn't live without you, I guess." She replied with glassy eyes._

_Tony smiled, remembering the last time he said that to her, and now she was repeating his words to him._

_"Tony, you are so…"_

_"Handsome? Funny? What?" _

_"Loved." She sounded exhausted, both emotionally and physically, which she was._

_Before he knew what he was doing, he found himself reaching for her as they both leaned in; they both leaned in for the kiss which conformed the feelings they've both had for the past eight years. Tony's hands were in Zivas hair, as if he was terrified that she might pull back and change her mind, but that was far from the case. They poured all of their emotion into the kiss, parting only for air, before leaning back in for one more short, sweet kiss. Ziva's eyes were still closed, she didn't want the kiss to finish, but there was plenty more where that came from. Tony's hand reached down for hers, as they walked towards the plane. _

_"Lets go home." He said to her as they walked onto the plane and took their seats. This was it, they were going home._

That's when Tony woke up, finding himself saying her name,

"Ziva?" he asked, turning to her designated side of the bed and realizing she wasn't there. Pushing himself up, his head was leaning against the headboard and he took a deep breath.

"I need to get her back." He told himself.

Once finally out of bed, he strolled into the kitchen and noticed that the coffee machine was empty. Tony mentally head slapped himself before picking up his laptop, wallet, and keys and walked to the café a few blocks from his apartment complex, even though his head was throbbing and his stomach threatening to empty itself at any moment due to the amount of alcohol it had consumed recently.

Walking down the street to the café his mind was playing tricks on him again. He saw a woman a few feet ahead with curly chocolate brown hair,

"Ziva!" he shouted before running up and grabbing her arm from behind, the woman turned with a panicked expression,

"I'm- I-" was all he managed to blurt out before his face changed 3 shades of red and he ran the rest of the way to the café. Once there, he ordered a latte with 3 extra shots of espresso, he needed it that's for sure. Once sat with his coffee in one of the armchairs, he pulled the laptop out, along with the USB drive, which Ziva had left for him in his jacket pocket, close to his heart. He opened the lid of the laptop, waited for it to load, and put the USB in its designated slot. He double clicked on the folder named "open me in two weeks" and saw that it contained a letter in the form of a word document. He took a deep breath, and a sip of his coffee before finally bringing himself to open it. It was only a short letter, but it was something.

_Tony,_

_Can you believe it has been two weeks already? I know all of this is pre-written, but I can assure you that it has been two of the hardest weeks of my life. I miss you, so much. I just want to see you, hear you, smell you, and touch you. I hope my journey is close to finishing, I do not think I will be able to go on much longer without you here by my side. I have set up a Skype account, please, video call me when you are ready? I just need to hear your voice; I need to for my sanity. My username is .1, please call. I miss you. And do not forget, that you are so loved. _

_- Ziva_

Tony opened Skype and added her immediately.

Thousands of miles away in Israel, Ziva heard her computer make a noise in another room, realizing the date and time in DC, she quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the computer. Her suspicions were correct. Tony had finally opened her letter and added her. She quickly accepted his request and called him; she couldn't contain herself much longer. Nerves coursed through her veins as the seconds went by and he didn't seem to answer, she was about to give up when she noticed that the screen said, "connecting". And that's when he popped up, her breath hitched,

"Tony…" was all that she managed to whisper.

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**A/N: I also should point out that I do not have a proofreader for this fic, so if you spot any mistakes, please do not hesitate to tell me so! I'm always up for constructive criticism if it means my writing will improve! **


	3. Promise Me

**_A/N: Oh my goodness. Okay, here's a funny story. I had this chapter written over a week ago, but I couldn't find it on my laptop ANYWHERE and really wasn't feeling the whole "rewriting the chapter" thing. But, it turned out that I had it saved in my drafts on tumblr *phew*. Also, my muse was supporting my vidding more (I uploaded two new videos on my channel "ttiva1" if any of you wanted to check it out! So thank you tumblr, and I apologize for the late update! _**

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_"Tony…" was all that she managed to whisper._

Ziva was in complete shock; her body was rigid and her eyes stung. She tried to remain composed; to remain strong for him, but the tears threatened to spill over at any given moment.

"Ziva…" the sound of Tony saying her name in a hushed tone was all it took, she could no longer hold back the single tear which began to run down her blushed cheek. Even over the bustle of the café he appeared to be in, she could hear his voice as if he was sat right in front of her in the same room.

Both of them sat and gazed at their computer screens, they couldn't believe that they were actually speaking to each other. It had only been two weeks, although it felt like an eternity now that continents separated them. Ziva could tell that Tony's eyes were bloodshot, from either lack of sleep or too much alcohol, although she was sure that it was probably both. A wave of guilt came over her; was that her fault? Was he in this current state because of her? Did he really care that much about her? Had she chosen the wrong decision? Should she have changed her mind whilst she still had the chance?

Tony was the first to speak a coherent sentence,

"I miss you" was all he could manage to break the silence with.

"Tony I-"

"No Ziva, I don't think you understand. I'm… I'm struggling. I feel like I failed you, that no matter how hard I tried, I failed you."

A mixture of guilt and remorse coursed through her veins, "It's not your fault-"

"It is my fault!" he interjected, "maybe if I had fought a little harder, you'd be here with me. We'd be here in this café together discussing our future." Tony didn't care about the strangers around him who could probably hear, he just wanted to talk to his partner, or now ex-partner.

"Tony, I already told you that I need to do this alone. By letting me do so, you respected me. You respected my decision." she reassured him.

"But Ziva, I can't help but spend every night wondering what could've been. That night on the Tarmac… that night changed everything, we both made our feelings quite clear. We laid everything on the table."

Ziva was sure Tony could see how damp her cheeks were, she was sure he could see her glassy eyes.

"Tony, these past two weeks I have also been… second guessing myself, wondering if I did in fact make the right decision. Although, I still feel like there is something I still need to do here. My journey is not over. I am not sure what it is that I need to do. But once I have done it, I will come back to DC, back home."

"Promise me? Promise me you will come back eventually. I just… I need a sense of hope, a sense of knowing that one day I can hold you again." Tony was desperate, he was sure he would spiral into insanity if he didn't physically see her again soon.

"I promise Tony. Now what is it you say?"

"Count to a million?"

"Count to a million." she replied with a smile and ended the call before she got too emotional. She didn't want him to see her so broken.

Ziva shut down her computer and wandered back into her bedroom. She found herself opening the drawer in her bedside table and pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. She continued to stare at the blank page for a few moments before sighing and writing the 6 words that crossed her mind, 'I will go home to him'. It was a promise she made to not only Tony, but also to herself. She would go home to him if it were the last thing she did.

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**_A/N: The last part wasn't initially there, the idea came to me whilst I was editing this chapter, although I feel like it was a good addition! Thank you for all the reviews and follows! :) Also, hope everyone had a fabulous Halloween! Is it time to start with the Christmas music yet?_**


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